My thoughts are sat on a comfy Sofa #6

Curtesy of Pixabay

For my thoughts to be productive, profound and distinctive, I have provided a relaxing comfy sofa in my mind for my thoughts to sit and contemplate.

If I had an octopus garden I think I’d like to see rainbow seahorses and blackberry jelly fish having a party. I wouldn’t invite squids as I’ve seen Squid Game on Netflix.

Sorry, have you lost it?

No one gave me anything to lose, so I can’t have lost it. But if I have lost it, but I do t know what it is I’ve lost then was it worth keeping?

Why are you rambling on about an octopus garden?

Rambling would equate to walking in the countryside. But I’m not walking in the countryside and octopuses can’t walk. Or are you talking metaphorically?

I’ll simplify my question. Why are you thinking about an octopus garden? Have you been listening to, or thinking about a Beatles song by any chance?

My octopus garden is different. Mine contains micro-plastics, hormones from field water runoff and possibly micro particles of human excrement. Lists of chemical traces from human manufacturing processors and general human behaviour. Or it would be if it was a real octopuses garden. I suppose because it’s a fictitious garden my creatures might have legs and therefor the ability to ramble. Or maybe even the ability to talk.

It’s me that’s lost it!

I wouldn’t go that far. Because we are interlinked. If you’ve lost it then so have I.

You do know I’m in a meeting trying to concentrate and add to the debate? It’s an important subject matter.

Oh, so what’s more important than my imaginary garden?

Well it’s a discussion on industrial competency.

Are you competent at discussing such a topic?

I believe I am.

So who has checked to make sure your competent to talk about competency? And are the competent at being able to assess your level of competency? And have they ever been assessed in being competent enough to assess someone else to be competent?

There are lots of factors involved. It’s not as simple as you make it out to be.

But surely competency can only be assessed by someone who is already competent in that field. But who assessed them to check that they are competent? Are you going to assess me to see if I’m competent in annoying fish in my octopus garden? It’s like your trying to determine the history of making an omelette without answering the question; “which came first the chicken or the egg?”

Can you please let me concentrate?

But I’m here to be able to concentrate for you. What do you want me to think about?

I just need you to clear your mind so we can think about the questions being raised.

Have you seen the state of that delegate on the table near the podium? I’m sure they are asleep. Are they competent in being able to listen too the speakers? I can hear them snoring from here.

Maybe they have nodded of due to ripples in the pond where the octopus garden is?

Octopuses aren’t fresh water fish so they can’t be in a pond. It needs to be in sea water. Don’t you know anything? You’re obviously not competent in discussing aquatic life are you?

I need to concentrate on formulating a plan to provide assessment documents and training in assessing and reviewing competency and competency levels. So can you stop distracting me.

I think your bladder is telling you you need to urinate. You don’t want people to think you’re incontinent while your discussing incompetent people. To stop the urge just calculate how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall. Or maybe look into finding out if Blackburn as always been in Lancashire.

What’s got into you today? Have you been listening to The Beatles?

I did wonder if your bed is infected by Longhorn beetles last night while you was asleep. I could almost smell the woody sap in their mandibles. It was almost a burnt smell. You would never have to worry about that in an octopuses garden. Which incidentally is under the sea. I’m quite competent when it comes to remember lyrics. I do t believe I would be competent in assessing someone else’s level of competence in their ability to remember lyrics. Thinking about it, for someone who occasionally listens to music I don’t have to be fully conversant or should I say fully competent in knowing all lyrics. If I’m a record executive or broadcaster or a recording artist where knowing the lyrics it’s imperative that you know the lyrics. So competency should be at a level that you need ranging from fully competent. Or should I say you are perfect in your knowledge and skills to know every single lyric, you know like god. At the other end of the spectrum someone who doesn’t know a single lyric could be said to be incompetent. At the same time, never tell anyone who doesn’t listen to music and therefore does not know and lyrics as being incompetent.

That’s is you’re a genius.

What, you’ve only just realised that.

I mean yes, on maybe no. Anyway that’s beside the point. Competency is dependent on your job or personal needs to be able to do the task required competently. You need to have a high level of competency in astrophysics to lecture or write a book on the subject like Professor Brian Cox, but you don’t need the same level of competency to be able to watch the Buzz Lightyear film.

And I thought you were heading for black hole with your understanding of competency.

My submarine only needs to be yellow in the correct song. My octopus garden is at the bottom of the sea. And we can have as many rainbow coloured seahorses and blackberry jelly fish as you like in your imagination. And I don’t have to be competent in assessing understanding someone’s competency. I just need to make sure that the right structure and levels are in place. Brilliant.

Remind me not to invite you to my squid game.


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